Pathia Red-Tawner (pathia) wrote,
Pathia Red-Tawner

Something my mom wrote...

She wrote the following on a transfamily list, to someone who was missing the 'old' self.

Yes I know what that hurt feels like. I'm cleaning out one of the bedrooms to make a "real" guest room. It's taking forever...all the trophies, all the notebooks & clothes. I think what we mourn is our own vision of that child's future, but it never was ours to begin with. We only give them life, they make their life.

Ricky was a little boy who stopped growing up sometime in puberty, he will be frozen forever as a little boy. A young woman has taken his place, I love her very much but can't help but miss my little Ricky. I look at the little boy pictures & want to reach into them, hold him & never let go.

But I haven't lost him, he's still here & I'm learning how to live with the new reality. In fact she'll be here this week end for her birthday on Friday.
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