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Dec. 22nd, 2005 @ 02:19 pm Letters
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Dragonforce - Inhuman Rampage - Through The Fire And Flames
Um, just to clarify. My mom did NOT write this and I have no idea what her name is. I never lived in Vermont :P

"Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people. I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children.

You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny. My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay. He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other boys. He was called "fag" incessantly, starting when he was 6.

In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn't bear to continue living any longer, that he didn't want to be gay and that he couldn't face a life without dignity.

You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don't know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn't put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it's about time you started doing that.

At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won't get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don't know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty that it is inborn.

If you want to tout your own morality, you'd best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I'm puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will?

If that's not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can? A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I'll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for "true Vermonters." You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn't give their lives so that the "homosexual agenda" could tear down the principles they died defending.

My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart. He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn't the measure of the man.

You religious folk just can't bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance. How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage.

You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin. The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about "those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing" asks: "What ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings than we are?" Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?"
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Date:December 22nd, 2005 07:34 pm (UTC)
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I will never understand where this "choice" argument came from. I'd challenge anyone who thinks people of any orientation are of that orientation to make that same choice for a week or even for a day. If sexual orientation is a choice, sirs and/or madams, then choose to be of a different orientation than you are now.

Of course, it's not a choice for them, just for us. Bastards.
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Date:December 22nd, 2005 07:50 pm (UTC)
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My mother has informed me that she knows I "think" I'm gay, and the Church has shown her lots of psychological studies to explain why this happens to some kids (remote father, close bond to mother, ostracism from peers, blah blah blah). So it's not a choice, exactly, I'm just fucked in the head.

I intend to ask her what she would think if I showed her lots of gay psychological research explaining why she's Christian? Wouldn't she think that was damned arrogant?

I'm also going to tell her that I think if there's any one psychological reason I'm gay, it's because of the parental reaction toward sex and female nudity: that of disgust and horror. I quickly learned to associate the two from a very young age. Sex was never healthy and loving -- it was always sick and evil and perverted. It was actually the Church's position that had the greatest psychological impact on my sexuality.

I wonder how she'll take that.
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Date:December 22nd, 2005 08:56 pm (UTC)
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Oh yes, "the church" has shown her these things. Because "the church" isn't biased in the least.

Keep in mind that in the '70s and '80s when all those "possible causes" were being expressed in the medical and psychological world, the church was so horrified that homosexuality could be "normal" that they doubled up on the "homosexuality is a sin" rhetoric so that all "good Christians" knew homosexuality was of the devil.

And now that homosexuality and sexual orientation in general is being very heavily linked to one's genetics in the psychological and medical fields, "the church" has found it in their heart to accept the possibility that homosexuality possibly has a (1980's style) cause, but it's still a person's choice, so it's still a sin.

At least "the church" is making progress...
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Date:December 23rd, 2005 12:16 pm (UTC)
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I intend to ask her what she would think if I showed her lots of gay psychological research explaining why she's Christian?

Oooohhh...wheels turning, wheels turning....
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Date:December 22nd, 2005 07:52 pm (UTC)
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Of course. The whole argument is that we're different. Weaker, more corrupt, just plain wrong. 'See, we're all good, because those people are bad, and we're not like them. Don't we all feel better about ourselves now?'
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Date:December 22nd, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
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Certainly. Especially in America, where those in minority are wrong. That's how our democracy works, after all. And if you've been "proven" wrong (by being part of a minority) and persist on remaining wrong, you must be either evil or insane.
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Date:December 22nd, 2005 09:02 pm (UTC)
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I wouldn't say it's any worse in America. This 'social democracy' applies to human groups everywhere. Atleast in North America the minorities can fight back. I would say that in the majority of places, like the entire continents of Asia and Africa (Heck, Antarctica too! ;>), the minorities just pretend to agree with the majority out of fear.
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Date:December 22nd, 2005 08:13 pm (UTC)
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1) Very moving letter
2) I had no clue smart people were on L.J. :o
3) Choice or no, I'm still a human, still given the same options to live my life as I please. I hurt no one. I bother no one. So why is it that I'm the bad guy trying to do all this? It's also funny. Seems like the argument of "corrupting the youth" and "not beliving in the states' gods" are still arguments worthy of getting people exectued. And people say we never learn from history's mistakes...
Date:December 23rd, 2005 01:20 am (UTC)
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That letter made me cry. There are still good people.
Date:December 23rd, 2005 03:18 am (UTC)
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o.o This came from the area around my home town. Damn if this lady didn't hit the nail straight on the head... Vermont tends to have an extremely insular community (I'm talking the locals, the people born there, not the yuppies who buy summer homes so they can screw with voting issues), where any sort of change is perceived as instant threat. I can speak from personal experience about the way kids treat peers who are different, often at the urging of their parents. x.x "My mommy says I can't play with you because your dad has cancer", etc. I'm glad this lady had the courage to speak up about it. A lot of the people up there (and elsewhere) are so set in their ways you'd have to hit them over the head with a brick to get anything but the sort of knee-jerk reactions she was responding to.