Pathia Red-Tawner (pathia) wrote,
Pathia Red-Tawner

Letter my mom wrote :)

She wrote this to her cancer support group, who are much more open than my extended family. Essentially her concerns are not of her own acceptance, she still loves me. She's just worried about how hard my life will be etc.

I'm on the pity pot, when I finish this post I will flush. If you don't

want to hear me whine don't read any further!

Obviously I'm back from Key West, we had a fantastic time & it
seems like a dream. The fact that we came home to snow, ice &
sub-freezing temps didn't help. Reality is highly overrated.

As some of my friends here know my oldest son came "out" this past
summer. He came out I went in. Strange how that happens. I can't even
begin to tell you the conflicting feelings I have. I've never thought
I really cared one way or the other abt a person's orientation, didn't
matter to me, have had many gay/lesbian friends & it wasn't ever an
issue. But they weren't my kid.

Last night he called to tell us he has a boyfriend. I felt
horrible telling him I wasn't ready to meet him. I wanted to scream
"this is supposed to be the NORMAL Christmas!!!". I have no idea what
a normal Christmas is but I wanted to have one this year. And I'm
appalled at myself for thinking this.

The annual Christmas letters have begun to arrive in the cards,
full of wonderful nauseating stories of perfect children. What boring
lives they must have I think.

I love my son with all my being & I will defend him to the
death, but at the same time my heart is broken thinking of the
difficult life he will have. The thought of his rejection by some in my
extended family makes my very soul weep, for I will choose my son every

Yes Gilda it really is always something....
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