April 19th, 2006



Worst case of weirdspace today I think I've ever experienced, and it's the bad sort. Out of my control. I'm piloting my own body through a thick fog. I have to march myself when I walk, leftrightleftrightleftright chanting in my head, or I'll start to stumble and trip over the slightest alteration of terrain. It was only 50 outside, but I had no real concern for the temperature. It was cold, I could feel the cold, but it was numb to me. For all it felt to me, was like an icon in a game saying 'you feel cold'. It had no effect on my actual state of being.

When I tried to wake up this morning, tried is the key point. I was in the middle of a terrible nightmare of undergrad. I was having seizures constantly on campus, flailing around wildly, but I was also having sleep paralysis at the same time. I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn't wake myself up. Instead however of realizing that I can't move, all I had was the REM going on of myself flailing around and falling to the ground, unable to speak or control my body.

The scary part is when I finally did rose myself fully, my sheets were all over the place. I was flailing in reality too, you aren't supposed to be able to move in REM.

What the fuck is wrong with me.
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