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Oct. 7th, 2006 @ 08:32 pm Work Drama


I've not said much about transition drama or the act itself, because there really isn't much to say. I go to work, I wear what I want to wear, I just am me. There's no real drama in that, until today at work.

There are some new guys in the store, who are not overtly hostile, though they are working towards that rapidly.

One is an older man, probably a military retiree, who has started to very loudly and forcefully call me Richard. See, I don't flinch and whine and bitch if someone uses my old name normally, it's the context with how they say it. I have no problem with my parents or family calling me my name, they don't do it to cause pain, it's just been my name to them forever.

This man however knew me as Rachel first, and now uses Richard in a tone as if the real word were 'faggot' or 'queer' and is simply using 'Richard' as a cover.

The second is a new guy, and what is up with him is not entirely confirmed yet, however according to a coworker he said "It better not hit on me" .


I'm not sure what to do yet, if anything. There has been no direct confrontation on either side, and I'm good at taking insults, I've dealt with it my entire life. I'm only going to be here for a few more months etc.
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From:keeperofdreams
Date:October 8th, 2006 12:34 am (UTC)
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Hell. If it were me in your situation, I'd be reporting their bigot asses so fast they'd be spinning like tops.
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From:pathia
Date:October 8th, 2006 12:36 am (UTC)
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Thing is, I'm in Virginia. I have no rights here, very literally. Trans people are not protected from discrimination here, I could be fired for it with no legal recourse (That won't happen, the boss wouldn't do that, I'm too valuable if only that)
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From:keeperofdreams
Date:October 8th, 2006 12:38 am (UTC)
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Ugh. It's still harassment though, and if it were me I'd be telling a boss/manager/whatever. Everyone should, regardless of who and what they are, have the right to a comfortable and non-hostile workplace.
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From:pathia
Date:October 8th, 2006 12:39 am (UTC)
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I just told my manager about him calling me Richard in that, I guess 'tone' is the best way to describe it, he said he'd talk to the guy.
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From:keeperofdreams
Date:October 8th, 2006 12:41 am (UTC)
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*nods* Good luck to ya. Hope it gets fixed.
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From:ionotter
Date:October 8th, 2006 10:45 pm (UTC)
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Wait a second...

You mean to tell me you are not protected at all?

(As in someone can just come up, rape you in front of everyone on the street, slit your throat and hang you from a lightpole?)

Or that you have no workplace protection from discrimination? Because if he keeps it up, you'll have a criminal case, not a discrimination case.

If you need someone to come in and give this buttmunch a lesson in military discipline, I'll be happy to show up and give him a "bulkhead counselling" session.
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From:talesin
Date:October 8th, 2006 12:45 am (UTC)
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I'd second the report of bigotry/harassment at the very least. Getting it documented can be important down the line, or at least making sure the boss is aware of the situation, which (s)he may not be.

As for the ex-military guy, it's at least worth a shot to point out politely that your name has been legally changed to Rachel, and that you'd appreciate it if he used the name you preferred. You never know, after all... there's always the possibility.
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From:shatterstripes
Date:October 8th, 2006 02:12 am (UTC)
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You could always pointedly ignore the first one when he calls you "Richard". This may be more trouble than it's worth, given that I still reflexively turn when someone says "Paul", even though that hasn't been the name I was known by for about two years. Thirty-odd years of responding to it kinda trained me, and I don't have another "Paul" in my life to train me out of that name.

But if you've been a definite Asset To The Company and the manager's cool with the transition, yeah, just booting it up to him will probably get some results.
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From:shizouka
Date:October 8th, 2006 02:16 am (UTC)
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Three words.. Hostile Work Environment.
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From:dv_girl
Date:October 8th, 2006 03:20 am (UTC)
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You might consider reversing it. Call the one guy by a femininized version of his name, shun the other guy like he's the biggest dork in school and you'd never consider dating him.

It'd likely just escalate the situation and make things worse but it might be a fun way to releave a little stress.
From:axonfuel
Date:October 8th, 2006 03:22 am (UTC)
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I like you. :3
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From:jonesybunny
Date:October 8th, 2006 09:23 am (UTC)
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I like this idea alot.
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From:seritaph
Date:October 8th, 2006 03:01 pm (UTC)
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Oddly enough this sorta thing was just dealt with at my workplace.

While there was no illegality involved, corporate culture was pretty clear cut on what to do and whos side to come down on. The ringleader of the "ew!" brigade was let go for some waaaay outta line comments to their target in front of me and a few other folks while the rest were slapped on a final warning. Basically if they say boo about it, they're on the path to career counciling on how to be elsewhere as well.
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From:flying_landon
Date:October 8th, 2006 03:46 pm (UTC)
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Easy response to the second one. Laugh at him and be all like "Don't flatter yourself."
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From:vond
Date:October 8th, 2006 03:55 pm (UTC)
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I've been wondering, have you legally changed your name? And if you did, it'd be perfectly reasonable to demand someone call you by your legal name, right?
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From:pathia
Date:October 9th, 2006 07:14 am (UTC)
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Around nine months ago, yea ;)

Dominos itself is being a royal pain in the ass, I've sent them literally every scrap of paperwork and they still haven't changed my name in the central database.

This is what causes interesting discussions at work. "Why does your name say Richard on the computer" etc.
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From:vond
Date:October 9th, 2006 01:04 pm (UTC)
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Well then you could always tell a little lie. "My parents really wanted a boy so I had to live with being a girl named Richard and I only got it changed legally nine months ago". Not far from the truth, even.
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From:circuit_four
Date:October 8th, 2006 07:04 pm (UTC)
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See, I'd reply to "hey, Richard" with "yeah, Grandpa?" but I'm kinda evil that way. :)